In Honor

Let me start by saying I've been a horrible slacker at blogging. So if you follow and have been checking in here, I apologize for my slackerness (I'm sure thats not a word but it sounds good). Things --and by things I mean life-- has been crazy around here. We currently live in FL and are actually planning to move back to the small little mountain town I grew up in up in Upstate NY, most likely within the next two months at the latest. We've listed our house on the market, and have had some interest, despite the fact that the market stinks. So, we are keeping our fingers and everything else we can cross crossed in hopes that we will soon be New Yorkers once again, and I'll be blogging from the comfort of my deck in NY looking out at the mountains and a whole lot of natural beauty.

I don't really have any TTC news as we've put that on hold for the next few months as money is a bit tight while we save to move, plus we are both super stressed out so not the best time to try to press through another IUI (next up will be # 3 .... Ugh!) So thats all there is to say about TTC for now. As soon as we are back on track and trying, my blog will make a turn back to TTC. I am a bit nervous about finding a new RE up in NY, as I fear the closest ones to where we'll be living will be over an hour away, but I'm used to having to travel a bit to get anywhere from where we will be living.

So on to the other big reason for posting tonights blog. Today is the 15 year Anniversary of my dad passing away. My dad died far too young, only 48 years old of a major heart attack. I was only 22 years old. I miss him as much today as I did 15 years ago. I don't really have anyone to talk about how difficult loosing him was as none of my friends or C. have ever experienced the loss of a parent, so they really don't get it. They offer support and hugs, but it really is hard not having anyone to talk it out with who really gets it or has been there. I won't go on and on about it, I just feel the need to get it down on virtual paper atleast, so I don't keep it all in.

My dad was a really great man. A dedicated hard working family man. He and my mom were married 28 years when he passed away. He took care of all of us very well, and we all knew how much he loved us. I have a lot of great memories of him that I will carry with me always. I came across this nice poem that made me think of my dad, so I will close this post with it.

To my dad, I just want to say, I love you very much and I hope and pray everyday that you are at peace and that although you didn't get to experience so much of our lives here on earth, I take comfort every single day knowing you are taking wonderful care of the baby we lost, your grandchild, up there with you in Heaven.


We thought of you with love today
But that is nothing new,
We thought about you yesterday
And days before that too.
We think of you in silence
We often speak your name,
Now all we have are memories
And your picture in a frame.
Some may think you are forgotten
Though on earth you are no more,
But in our memory you are with us
As you always were before.
A million times we've thought of you
A million times we've cried,
If loving could have saved you
You would have never died.
You left us beautiful memories
Your love is still our guide,
And though we cannot see you
You are always at our side.
It broke our hearts to lose you
But you did not go alone,
Part of us went with you
On the day God called you home
.Forgive me Lord,
I'll always weep
For the best father I loved,
but could not keep