My 2WW is going by pretty fast!

Well, its been a few days since I posted a blog. Unbelievably I am 8DPO today. The first 1/2 of the 2WW usually goes by pretty quickly, its the 2nd half that drags by. And of course, as each day passes, the worry grows and grows. It used to be an exciting anticipation filled with hope and wonder. That was about a year ago. Now its filled with over analyzation about every little twinge, pain, cramp etc that you feel. Having been PG once (back in Nov), it seems even more difficult for me, because each time the 2ww draws closer to its end, I start thinking back to the month I got PG. (When I thought for sure I wasn't PG. I remember the whole thing like it was yesterday!!! I was painting my bathroom and kept having weird spotting but AF wouldn't come. The Day I was finishing up painting, Craig came home from work, I was in tears, sobbing that I didn't know how much more of this heartbreak and disappointment I could keep doing without moving forward in treatment. Craig had told me then that we'd figure it out. We had credit cards etc for whatever our next step needed to be). The next morning, while getting ready for work at 4:30 am I said, the Hell with it, I'm going to POAS!! I did, and there was the faintest of all faint lines. I woke Craig up out of a dead sleep, and shoved the test infront of him and said "I think there's two lines!!!" He opened an eye as I flicked on the light near him, and just about blinded him, he said he might see something but not to get my hopes up until we knew better. He went back to sleep, I went to work and smiled like a teenage girl all day knowing that it was it. The next day I POAS in the morning and definately saw a second line, and then in the afternoon I got a digi test and it said PG!!!!!!!. Thats how clear the memory is to me. I remember everything about those days, and the days following as well, straight through my M/C. I remember every symptom, every twinge every little everything.

So it's easy to see how I would overanalyze everything since then in each 2ww. As I wrote in a previous blog, I don't really have a ton of hope, but stranger things have happened. So, I'm hoping that one of those strange little miracles finds its way to us this month. If it doesn't, I am prepared for it, and will be able to move on to our next cycle. I won't be thrilled about having to do injections in my stomach again, but I'm nowhere near giving up yet, so I'll have to endure what I have to.